Sex! What is it that makes everyone and their brother blogger want to write about it? And why, the last week of the year, the last week of the decade is writing about sex coming to the forefront?
First, there are many reasons bloggers want to write about sex. In the case of Big Little Wolf’s “Sex vs. Lovemaking – why are we so confused?” my guess is she wrote it to provoke discussion among her readers. She has started something as there are not only comments in response to her writing but entire separate blog entries, such as this one, that were spawned from her thoughts. Some of the blogs that have provided responses to Big Little Wolf’s are The Wild Mind’s “Sex or Making Love? Who Is Confused?” and Jassnight’s “Sex – the Master’s Division.”
In some cases, bloggers write about sex because it brings in readers. For those of you who have recently written about sex, take a look at your numbers. People are drawn to sex. It is a taboo in American culture, as far as rational discussion goes, but it is also a subject that people are drawn into as they feel they shouldn’t be. I am casting no judgment on whether this is healthy or not.
In other cases, bloggers write about sex because they have to as a job requirement. Have you ever read any of the blogs at Nerve.com or even some of the ones at YourTango.com? These blogs are the ones whose jobs are to discussion sex, sex toys, sexual positions, relationships and such.
So why is it that these questions about sex seem to be coming up (pun fully intended) here during the last week of the year, the last week of the decade? The reasons for this are as varied as the reasons for blogging about sex to begin with but I am going to concentrate on one reason.
We all want relationships with other people. We all need connectedness. We are sitting on the cusp of a time when we all look back and attempt to reflect on the goals that we made for the past year, or in this particular case, possibly the past decade. In most cases, at least one, if not more of those goals, will have to do with friendships, relationships, or sex.
As we are evaluating what we did this past 365 days or 3650 days, we are also looking forward to what we will be doing in the upcoming days. Please realize that goals, resolutions, aspirations – I don’t really care what we call them as they all are the same thing – are not realistic if they are not measured. We need to review what we have done and continue to do as we strive to change or complete our resolutions.
I looked back over my aspirations from 2005 and on. Each year I put down something along the lines of “Be proactive in finding new friends and possibly a more than friend interest.” That is my evolved format. It started out as I will find new friends, additional friends. There were steps about joining online dating sites and steps about attending more events locally. After all, what good is a “more than friend interest” who lives in British Columbia when you are a woman over 40 with six kids? Actually, in looking back, I didn’t even put this as an aspiration in 2005 or 2006. I knew that there was not time to invest in new friendships and relationships then if I had to search them out. The new people I met those years were people that were thrown into my life somehow.
The reason sex is in everyone’s mind this time of year is that these resolutions from the past year are up for “review.” As in your occupation, reviews are ways to find out how to improve performance. So if you had a “relationship” as a resolution last January and are still not in one, how do you improve that performance? If you are in one now, what is the thing most likely to be thought about in the improvement category? Well, in some cases, you may think it is communication or time spent together but more likely than not, when you think about improvement in the newer relationships, sex is going to come to mind.
So, whether we want to get some or whether we want to think about if the sex we are having is sex or lovemaking, it is normal to have our minds wonder to this topic at this time of year.