Just my Thoughts · Religion

Searching

I’ve been searching a lot lately. Part of that search has included not writing here very much.

What have I been searching for?

I’ve been searching for my direction. I always said as soon as my youngest graduated from high school I was out of here. I never thought I would live my life about 20 miles from where I grew up. It is beautiful here. No doubt about it but it is not where I see myself. I have always been good at visions. I could see each of my children, with one exception, at the colleges they picked. Are these visions always right? No.

I used to always say I was going to move further north. I spent two years living in the Adirondacks in my late teens. I would love to live there again. I am not sure, anymore, if I would want to live there permanently.

I’ve been searching for new clients. I have found one that is a good client but I need more. To that effect, if you know anyone who needs content for a web site or for a print publication, photography for either or any one person or entity, business or non-profit that needs social media help, please pass on my name.

I’ve been searching my faith. This has been slightly easier than you would think. I am Catholic. I was not raised Catholic. I became Catholic 31 years ago – well past the time of Vatican II. I do not know the “old” Catholic Church many speak of. I find the attitude of the new Pope – is he really still considered new? – to be refreshing but to not be transferring to local parishes. I can remember taking a huge stand when I was first married. We had just bought our first house. There was a parish within walking distance of the house. I wanted us to look around for a different parish – which we did and loved – as I could not stand the thought that a boy could serve on the altar but not a girl. I have some feminist questions of my faith.

My children are all adults. The two who are married did not marry in the Church. I do not have a problem with that. I have a problem with the fact the Church has a problem with that. I have some maternal questions of my faith.

I am recently divorced. I was separated from my now ex-husband for longer than we were married. You may think that sounds strange. I know I do. I have some personal questions of my faith.

So, I have spent the new year searching. I have been reading, voraciously. I have been thinking, constantly. I have not been writing, consistently. That is going to change.

What do you search for?

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