We all know, or have heard of, the sexual revolution. As a woman, regardless of the fact that I am a Catholic, I have always held to the premise that a woman’s body is hers. No one should have control over a woman’s body but that woman – not partner, not church. Does this make me odd? I don’t think so but I suppose I could possibly be in the minority. The bigger question is how does one broach this subject in a new relationship?
Let’s be honest. As a parent I preached abstinence but, being practical and a woman who truly enjoys sex, also acknowledged the need for education on birth control methods. The problem that exists for teens and young adults is still there as long as the female partner in a relationship is of child bearing age. While I would love to say I do not have to worry about this issue, I cannot seem to even start menopause so I worry about pregnancy when a relationship takes that step up to being a sexual relationship on top of whatever else it may be.
Because of hormones and other issues, oral contraceptives are contraindicated for me. I should not be taking birth control pills. At almost 53 years of age, I keep holding out for menopause so do not think of an IUD or other implanted device as truly a viable form of birth control. I fall back, as I did when I was first experiencing sex, to the condom.
Condoms not only provide birth control but protection from STDs. I like this as other forms of birth control do not provide that barrier to prevent transfer of STDs. I also like it as I basically have some control. I do not, although by the time sex is an issue I trust the other person, have to worry that someone doesn’t like condoms so is not quite being truthful about a possible vasectomy. I can be sure that I am not going to get pregnant … except when I can’t.
What happens when the condom breaks? Possibly weeks of worry ensue as the clock ticks to the start of the next cycle. At my age, I do not want to have to do this type of waiting. All kinds of stress comes from worrying about unwanted pregnancy. And, what comes if the stress worsens and the condom broke at the worst possible time? I go back to my first premise – it’s my body and no one else’s.
How do you deal with sex in a new relationship? What form/forms of birth control do you use? How do you talk about these things with a new partner?