Family · Just my Thoughts

Sandwiched Again

Back in February, my half-sister and I pulled one over on our father.  He had an appointment near me with the cardiologist.  We both knew he would ignore whatever he was told so someone had to be there with him.  We both went.

I tend to be a formidable force when I make a decision and both my father and his cardiologist realized this in quick order.  I took down all the information and sent my father off to his home with my half-sister.  Things were deteriorating but it could wait until the trial he was covering was over.

Little did we know that the trial would make things worse and one night, after filling his article, down he came to the ER in Johnson City.  I went.  There is no reason, once it was known he was going to be admitted, for my step-mother and half-sister to stay.  They still, in the winter weather, had to drive back home which is about 50 miles north and tends to be treacherous in bad weather.

Anyway, the sandwiching is starting again.  My father died in March.  Now, it is my step-mother.  The problem is she seems to be having some comprehension issues.  Found in her coat pocket upon a weekend emergency room visit and admittance to the local hospital – not a place anyone should go if they are stable enough to get to Johnson City – was a script for physical therapy.  Also, after the fact, a script for Vicodin was found to have been recently filled for arthritis pain.

No one knew of either of these issues but her and she was picking and choosing which she wanted to do.

She is home now but the crap continues.  As I was told by a wise friend, just how deep do I want to get?  She is not my mother so I have limited control over what I can do.  Do I get involved?  Do I just listen to my one half-sister while she deals with her mother and her sister?

How do you deal with your own life and then the parenting of parents?

4 thoughts on “Sandwiched Again

  1. The idea of parenting my parents is so scary–and yet I know they are getting frail, particularly Mama.

    And with both of my parents, I know I’ll have to bully them to go to the doctor. Sigh.

  2. This post really hits home for me. My own father died in July 2008 and it still stings. And, yes, this whole parenting of parents thing is something I think about a lot especially since I am now a parent myself. This is tricky business indeed. Love the sandwich metaphor; I think it is quite apt. Thanks for your words.

    1. Aidan – It is hard to deal with parents as they have always been the ones who are right. When, suddenly or not so suddenly, they are not listening or not taking the right steps or not following doctor’s orders, we come to realize that they may be just human after all.

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