Tag Archives: parents

Parents

I have seen parents who hover over their children in high school.  I have also seen it, to some extent, in college.  I am amazed that I just heard it in a conference call of mostly parents whose adult children have been accepted into Teach for America.  My biggest concern, and one my daughter has pursued answers to herself, is that she not duplicate work she has already done.  She is already a certified teacher birth through grade 6 in New York.  Does she really need to take certification classes in Connecticut?  I mean I understand if she does but no one seems to know for sure.  There lies my first problem.  No one seems able to give a straight answer to the question.

 

But back to parents.  On the call I just hung up on – yes, it is rude but I had already spent an hour of my time and learned nothing that convinced me my daughter saying yes to this was a good idea – there were parents who wanted to know if Teach for America would pair up their child with a roommate to live with.  There were parents who thought the Institute time was inconvenient and couldn’t their child go to one in a city other than New York.  Institute is where student teaching takes place and those in Teach for America who were not education majors in college – 98% of the corps members – get classroom management training.

 

I could not help but think these parents are going to micromanage their children’s lives forever.  When I was asked if I had anything I was interested in finding out more about, my concern was very specific.  It was regarding transfer of certification.  I am not concerned for my daughter’s personal safety.  She is an adult and knows not to go walk out at night alone – a point that was made on the call.  I am not concerned about a roommate for my daughter.  She is an adult and will either find a roommate or will pay more in rent and live alone.  I am not concerned about the dates for induction or institute.  I know these are required and that, if this is what my daughter chooses, she has to go the dates that these events are taking place.

 

I simply said the choice to become a corps member was not mine but my daughter’s and I didn’t have any general questions.

 

Do parents ever let go of their children?


When do your parents become your children?

I have known that this day was coming.  Both of my parents have health issues.  One manages the issues through diet, exercise and medication.  The other tends to ignore the medication prescribed, eats when and what is wanted, and ignores general health issues.  Both are adults, 67 and 70 respectively.  Yes, they are divorced and both are remarried.  Both live in different parts of the country – one in the southwest and one in the northeast.

The overwhelming question this morning is when do your parents become your children.  My father lives about an hour from me – only about 40 miles but nothing but two lane road to get there.  He works in my general area.  Last night, my sister who lives near him – in the same town – called.  There was an issue at work.  Could I call there?  Could I call my stepmom?  Could I go over?

My father’s health has been declining.  He tends to ignore the doctor.  He needs to be on a diet for his health issues and needs to be careful what he eats.  I have had these discussions with him but I am ignored even more quickly than the doctor.  Things are about to change.  When an ambulance needs to be called and I need to go to the office and take him home – I actually only took him to eat and my other sister came with her husband and got him, I am going to get more involved.

The question is am I within my “duties” as a daughter to insist on things.  I told him, point blank, last night that he was going to start doing things differently.  I also made it very clear that if I was making the decision, not my stepmother, he would have been in the ER last night.  I also made it clear he was to see his physician today.  Yes, there is a storm coming.  I don’t care.  This is not something to mess with.  TODAY!

So, am I right to assert myself?  Do I just step back and let him continue to go down the wrong road?


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