Tag Archives: connectedness

11 January 2012

The Unplugged Life

By Nicki

I have been trying an unplugged life. This type of living is very odd for me. Let me explain.

Back in October, I gave up on Time Warner. We no longer have the digital phone or the broadband internet or cable television. This has been a hard thing to adjust to for me. I didn’t realize how much I depended on cable television. With a digital converter and an antenna, we can manage to get about seven stations at my home. Major networks – CBS and Fox. I do not watch a lot of Fox. What I miss is CNN and the Weather Channel. I also missed a lot of holiday specials that I would watch and holiday movies. Worse than those, I am missing some college sports that I love and hockey. There is no hockey on any of the channels I can get via the airwaves. I cannot, though, justify the cost of that bill each month.

The digital phone is more an inconvenience for those who are trying to reach me. I do not keep my cell phone charged on a regular basis. I also do not manage to remember to take it with me places. People cannot call me or get a hold of me easily. My children – most of them adults – can be reached at the drop of a hat, though. They always have their phones on their persons.

Internet, though, is a tough on for all of us. Some of the kids have smart phones so those are okay for internet access. Not all of them have these. My work is internet dependent. I have taken to working at coffee shops or, strange as this may sound, McDonald’s or Barnes and Noble. All have free wi-fi and I can do my work or email work to clients this way.

Is this an ideal life for me? No. Is this what I need to do at this point in time? Yes. I have not been to a location to be online in over a week. I am heading out to check email, mail work to clients and get some news other than that on the local CBS affiliate.

 

Could you live without cable, internet, landline phone?

 

4 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Just my Thoughts

22 February 2010

Thoughts from a Time Past

By Nicki

In looking for a password to a work account, I came across a writing I had done in the past.  It speaks to connectedness.  It speaks to need.  It speaks to me so I thought I would share it with you.

I remember now why I try hard to live my life not needing others.  with need comes an opening up of your heart to the chance someone else will et you down.  Being needed… Carrying a burden of trying not to let someone else down…

I know you said you would never hurt me.  Or at least that you didn’t want to hurt me.  I got offline that night because I hurt.  I felt blindsided.  You sat talking with me just two days ago, telling me I needed you.  Now you say you are leaving everyone behind.

While I understand standing on your own, I have come to believe, thanks in part to you, that even if we stand on our our own we need people to support us.

It is almost ironic, if it didn’t hurt so much, that it seems we have traded places.

I look like I am strong and together.  Yet, I am sitting in bed crying.  I am the one wondering what your decisions mean for me.  I know I am not a player in your decisions.  I shouldn’t be.  That is not our relationship and probably never will be.  You know I want you to be happy.  If this is the way to your happiness, that is wonderful.  I will also be there for you – not to stand you up but to clap for you as you stand yourself up.

10 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Just my Thoughts

31 January 2010

Apologies

By Nicki

I just finished reading a great piece on apologies in the New York Times.  The writer truly made me stop and think.

I need to apologize to a friend.  I know I do but am not sure if the friend is willing to listen or not.  I did something that caused a huge rift between the two of us and I do not like the space that I have received from this rift.  I am not sure if the friend does or not but I need to find out as I don’t like myself because of the problem.

I will say that the author talks about the good essentials of an apology:

an acknowledgment of the fault or offense, regret for it and responsibility for it — and, if possible, a way to fix the problem, said Holly Weeks, a communications consultant and author of “Failure to Communicate: How Conversations Go Wrong and What You Can Do to Right Them” (Harvard Business Press, 2008).

While I have acknowledge the offense, I am not sure if the person who was offended thinks I take responsibility for it or if that person thinks I have regret for it.  I have deep regrets for the entire offense – both the part that I did and the results of that action.  I own my actions so am totally responsible for this and the pain I feel.

I want to ask this friend for forgiveness.  I don’t want the friend to totally forget but to know that I am working on being a better person.  I am working on fixing what caused me to commit the offense to start with.

I am not perfect nor strong.  I need to be reminded occasionally of my imperfections.

Have you ever had to apologize when you didn’t think the other party wanted to hear it?  Have you ever had to apologize and not known if it would be accepted?  Do you think apologizing is the same as asking for forgiveness?

18 comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in Just my Thoughts

21 November 2009

Not Being Connected

By Nicki

We talk about how the internet has made this huge world seem so much smaller.  We talk about how we connect with each other over broadband, fiber optics or whatever.  The question will always remain:  What about those people who are not connected?

You probably can think about one or two people that you know who fit this description.  These people may have any number of reasons why they are not as connected to other people as you or I are.  They may have problems with social interaction.  They may be shy.  They may just be people that do not like people.  They be older and feel they are no longer useful to society.  Whatever the reason, bring these people in.  Give them a connection!

In my small, local area, there was a recent reminder of why we should connect to others.  I do not think that connectedness would have saved the life of a young middle schooler who died over a year ago but it might have.  No one knows for sure.

Shawn Munck was sentenced yesterday for the killing of his 12 year old brother Peter.  Shawn is now 23.  The murder/manslaughter took place in February of 2008.  Shawn was not connected to the community.  He had been visiting his grandmother, the grandmother who took care of Peter and with whom Peter lived.  The grandmother had to go in the  hospital for surgery and felt that she could leave a 12 year old with a 22 year old.

I would not have had any doubt that this would be okay.  I have left my youngest with my oldest many times.  There is ten years difference between these two of my children.

Unfortunately, there was some rough housing or an altercation of some sort.  The younger brother was stomped on, then left to bleed internally to death.  The older brother did not attempt to seek medical care for his younger sibling.

Several days later, a relative came to check on the two of them and found the younger Munck dead.  If there had been more connectedness to the community, is it possible that a young boy would be alive today?  No one knows for sure but realize that humans need to be connected, connected to family, to friends, to community, to others.

You can read the news article by Nancy Dooling at http://www.pressconnects.com/article/20091120/NEWS01/911200398/Endwell+man+who+stomped+brother+will+not+serve+more+jail+time

6 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Just my Thoughts

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