Comments on: Your Senses – Touch

By: Nicki

Nicki — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 01:37:18 +0000

Thanks, Eva. I still have two senses to go. Scheduled this post as I was on the road today. Now in a hotel – The Lodge at Rock Hill – and getting ready to watch the WVU-Georgetown basketball game while I get some sleep before my race in the morning.

By: Nicki

Nicki — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 01:36:07 +0000

It is odd how we come to be this way or that. Your family sounds divine to me, Linda!

By: Eva

Eva — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 01:25:40 +0000

I love a good hug. A hug from a friend I haven’t seen in a long time will almost bring me to tears.

But – I am nothing like Linda’s family! My family wasn’t very physically close when I was young. My in-laws are more touchy feely, and that has been kind of hard to get used to.

Good post, Nicki. Such a good thing to reflect on, and a good reminder to be aware of how we all perceive touch differently.

By: Linda Pressman

Linda Pressman — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 18:24:41 +0000

In my family growing up and my family now, we are always one big pile. Trying to get my son to stop sitting on top of me like he’s still little is a major chore! But when we watch a movie, we’re all criss-crossed on mine and my husband’s king-sized bed.

I’m touchy and huggy but I’m definitely watchful for signs from the other person when they are not like that. Hopefully!

By: Nicki

Nicki — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 18:18:23 +0000

Touch and personal space are very individual. My family – at least those I grew up with – trace roots back to England and aristocratic England. I blame my lack of touch comfort until I know a person on that.

If I am comfortable, truly know a person, I touch. That arm touch. Always. I have been known to kick my sandals off on the deck and put my feet a friend’s lap without even thinking twice. But I have to be comfortable.

And, as I said to someone else, I still occasionally get that snuggle with my 15 year old.

By: BigLittleWolf

BigLittleWolf — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:56:23 +0000

The issue of touch and personal space is sooooo personal, and also cultural. I’m very accustomed to certain “touching formalities” as a matter of manners. Some of it may be from the time I’ve spent in Europe, as well as being part of a European family for many years.

Context is really important. And trying to sense the other person’s comfort with what you may or may not do.

In the example of my date, the one I wrote about? I touched his arm lightly, well into our dinner conversation. I didn’t repeat the action. I sensed it didn’t suit him. So maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised when there was no cheek kiss, no handshake, no shoulder touch when we said goodnight?

Interesting, too, how we have to change our touch with our kids as they get older. Those (glorious) days of parental hugs are gone, sadly. Teen boys and their moms? an occasional kiss on the cheek or forehead – and I’m pretty happy to get that!