Touch.  A few weeks ago, Big Little Wolf wrote a piece about touch.  Are you a toucher?  What does your body language mean to those on the receiving end?

I am not a big hugger.  Imagine my startled feelings when someone I had only spoke to online came to a party I was throwing and gave me a hug in greeting.  I don’t believe I pulled back but I know I was a bit thrown, a bit shocked.  We hardly knew one another but he was willing to pull me inside his personal space.  When he left the house that night after a few hours, he hugged me again.  This time I was a bit more ready for it.  I did not believe I knew him any better but I was more ready for it.

On the other hand – pun intended, I am a person who touches once I get to know you.  I do not necessarily hug you upon greeting you.  I do, though, with people I am good friends with, reach out as we talk.  I may put my hand on your forearm for emphasis.  I have been known to drape my arms over the shoulders of a friend sitting at my kitchen table for a quick hug.  Somehow, when touches such as these occur, I can feel the energy from one person to another.  It is almost an osmosis-like process.  The one who needs the energy takes it.  The one who has extra gives it.

Again, though, I say I am not a big touch person.  Imagine my surprise as I sat at a local establishment with a man I had known a short period of time.  We were sitting across a table from each other and he was talking, digging, and analyzing the things I had been saying previously when more of us had been there.  Some of his analysis scared me and brought tears to my eyes.  He reached out and took my hand.  I did not recoil – although I think that may have been my first thought.  I let him comfort me.  I could feel that energy shift, from one to another.

On the third hand here – yes, the pun is old now – I am a very tactile person when I am with someone I am comfortable with, when I am with someone who may spark my interest in a sexual manner.  I tend to touch.  I will lay a hand on a knee or thigh.  I have been known, in the summer on a deck, to just flop my legs over someone else’s.  I don’t even think twice about these things.  They just happen.  For them to happen, though, I need to be extremely comfortable with the other person.  When I am not, these types of actions would be forced.

So what about you?  Do you touch people as you speak to them?  Are you a hugger?  Are there limits to your tactile experiences in your life?