Monthly Archives: February 2010

A Love List to My Life

Between Kelly Diels‘s Operation Secret Valentine, Momalom‘s Love It Up Challenge, a post on How to Write a Love List at Em and Lo‘s and Big Little Wolf‘s suggestions for celebrating V Day on a budget, I am again thinking about love and today about my life.  So, here is my love list to my life.

  • I love the mounds of laundry – both dirty and clean – as they mean we have clothing to wear.
  • I love my kitchen sink full of dishes I should wash as it means we have had food to eat.
  • I love the snow outside as it makes the sunlight look twice as bright.
  • I love running in the cold as it makes me feel alive – actually, any running makes me feel alive.
  • I love that #5 took classwork with him to the conference championships.  He is finally becoming a student.
  • I love that #6 is taking the reigns in what he thinks he wants to do later in life.
  • I love a particular good friend as I know life is not easy but this friend is making the best of it.
  • I love that #3 has a great feeling about her Teach for America interview that was on Monday.
  • I love that #1′s car only needs a new water pump as it could be much worse.
  • I love that I got to see #2 yesterday, even if just briefly.
  • I love that #4 is all set to move after she graduates this spring and is continuing her education.
  • I love my family – regardless of how much I complain about them.
  • I love God – as He has made this life so possible.
  • I love my life.  The ups and downs are annoying but without the valleys, the heights would not seem high.

Dear Father

The letter below is inspired by the women at Momalom.com.  They come up with some of the best ideas for blog posts.  This blog challenge is to write a love letter to a person, to a thing, to the world and share it on your own blog or on their blog if you need to.  You can read the details of the challenge by clicking the graphic to the left.

Dear Father Clarence,

I have been writing this letter in my head since Holy Week last year.  I have always, since becoming a Catholic 27 years ago, always attended services throughout the Triduum.  The homily you gave on Holy Thursday last year moved me in ways a homily had not in years, probably since I was in college.  The changes you made to the celebration of the first Eucharist made the entire Mass a true celebration of the way Christ had treated his disciples.

Throughout the past year, I have walked out of Mass and thought I should go tell Father how I could relate to what he was saying in the homily.  Have I?  No, I have been remiss.  I have gone home and told others – friends who may or may not be Catholic – how I wished they had been there.  I was sure that you were talking to them, to me, addressing the problems in all our lives.  I still, to this day, think that you are talking to me.

I feel horrible that I have let all this time go without telling you that I do love your words.  I feel like I get so much more out of Mass in the last year or so than I have since I was in West Virginia.

Love,

Nicki


Imperfection

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.

- Emily Kimbrough

I am continually amazed at the resilience of the human body but, more importantly at the resilience of the human soul.  We are living in a time were people are suffering – whether from disease, overwork, lack of work, family strife.  The list is endless.   And, the problem – on top of the suffering – is the isolation such suffering causes.

We need to look around at those who live in our areas.  We need to help up those we can.  We need to hold the hands of others so the stumbling is not as evident.  Trust me!  But for the grace of God go any of us.

We all need such encouragement and often we forget that it’s okay not to be the pillar of strength when life has us by the tail.

I have been the person who has needed the hand of a friend.  I needed a good friend when my marriage ended, one that knew what services were available for me to help get me back on my feet.  I needed a friend who could help me find child care and a new place to live.  I had that friend back then.  She and I are still friends to this day.  If she had not given me a hand, pointed me in the right direction, who knows what my life – and the lives of my children – would be like now?

When you can, look to those people you see weekly in the grocery store.  Instead of yelling or muttering under your breath when you do not get the shortest line, wonder what in their lives might be a struggle for them at this time.  Smile at them.  Say hello.  Spread some cheer in someone’s life.

Friends are precious, not just in the sunshine of life, but especially in the shade.

Go spread some cheer today!  Send that letter!  Smile at that person!


Go West!

My mind and my eyes have been turned to the Northwest this week.  Once the spectacle that was the Super Bowl was over, my thoughts immediately turned to Vancouver!  You see, I am Winter Olympics fanatic!

There are many reason I love the Winter Games.  One goes back to my childhood.  I thought Jean-Claude Killy was hot!  My guess is he is still hot as he is approaching 77.

Another reason I love the Winter Games is ice hockey.  I have always been a huge hockey fan.  I watch every chance I get and love college hockey.  My daughter (#3) was never a big hockey fan until going to college.  Now she misses being able to go to hockey games all the time.

Probably the biggest reason I am a Winter Games fan is Lake Placid.  I was in Lake Placid for the 1980 games.  I worked food service in Olympic Village – now a NYS prison in Ray Brook, NY.  I worked housekeeping on the college campus where I was attending classes.  We housed telecommunications personal in new dorms – apartment-like dorms.  I went to medal ceremonies on the lake.  High school marching bands from around NYS – including one from Norwich, NY where my father, step-mom and two half-sisters lived – played at the awards ceremonies.

And, yes, I was there in the arena for the Miracle on Ice.  I was also in the streets of Lake Placid following that wonderful win.

I have never looked at Winter Olympics the same since 1980.  Lake Placid closed down the streets of town.  Shuttles came through but regular traffic was not allowed.  People wandered around the streets, in the streets all the time.  I thought it was like a village in the Alps – at least from pictures I had seen.

I still dream of going back to Lake Placid.  For years, I swore I would retire to that village.  I am not married to that idea any longer but I do want to visit – in the winter – some time soon.


Your Senses – Sight

The senses!  We have five and, generally, it is not until something jars one of them that we give them a second thought.  Yes, I run for the camera when I see something that I like the way it looks – people, storefronts, sunrises and sunsets.  Not everyone does, though.

Sight also draws up memories for me.  A few weeks ago I was driving down a street in a nearby city where I frequently go for work.  This city is close but still approximately 40 miles away so I generally get there once a week, occasionally more frequently.  Last week, for example, I will be there three days as I am going to hear a group play on Sunday evening and then two days for work.  This week I will be there for a class I am taking but not for work at all.  Next week, I am going to a TweetUp there.

Back to the sighting – pun intended.  I was driving down this street.  First I drove by a bar.  At one point in time, my guess would be it had been a hotel but now it seems to be just a bar and nothing spectacular.  The beer is good that they have on tap, always a plus in my book, and they have a pool table.  My memory flashed to a night at the end of September when I was there with a friend.  Just driving past made that night of pool come back to me.

We had spent a bit of time at a Mexican restaurant a couple of blocks away, having margaritas and nachos.  A torrential rain storm had caused me to get drenched out on the patio so we had gone into the bar.  Once the rain stopped, we had gone walking through a shopping area, long closed for the night but still with a few people walking through as we were.  We came to this other bar and went in to play pool.  Beware of playing pool with mobile phones in your pocket – not me, him.  He accidentally dialed someone and left a lengthy voicemail of us discussing geometry because, after all, what are bank shots but geometry proofs in real life?  Got that kids?  You will use geometry again some day.

As I continued on my way heading out of the city as I needed to get home for an activity, I hit the light red at the corner where I needed to turn.  Another memory came rushing back to me.  We had had margaritas and nachos another evening, right after he finished work and I did also.  He needed to catch the bus home so we were waiting where the bus would be stopping except we were a block or so from the actual stop.  We had stood there with some college kids.  They had asked us questions about the bus system which he could answer easily.  Then, his bus had come buzzing by.  He had to run to catch it up the block.  Just thinking about it now is making me smile.  The sight of him running after the bus in dress clothes from work with his brief case/bag is a memory I will always have.

I could go on and on as I have many memories that are triggered by seeing different things.  I still have memories of my son’s football team winning the state championship every time I drive past the Carrier Dome in Syracuse.  Most make me smile as I remember the sights I have seen in my life.  I saw a friend’s photos of some time in the Adirondacks which took me back to the years I lived there.

What memories do sights trigger for you?  Is it a place or a souvenir?  What about photographs?  Do they trigger memories for you?


Super Bowl Sunday

Today is similar to a national holiday to all those who are fanatical about the National Football League.  It is Super Bowl Sunday and there will be parties galore, even around my little neighborhood.  The question is what are you doing to celebrate the Super Bowl?

Sushi Pickles

I am running a 5K race.  Before leaving for the race, I will make sushi pickles – thanks for that recipe, Steve – and white bean tapenade.  Chances are I will also make some buffalo chicken dip before the day is over.  When I get home, I will shower and head to a party with the tapenade.  My kids are going to various parties – one with the father at his girlfriend’s, one with a friend.

Do you celebrate the Super Bowl?  If asked, do you know who is performing at half time? What is your favorite football or tailgating food?  Do you watch the football or the commercials?


A Love Letter

The letter below is inspired by the women at Momalom.com.  They come up with some of the best ideas for blog posts.  This blog challenge is to write a love letter to a person, to a thing, to the world and share it on your own blog or on their blog if you need to.  You can read the details of the challenge by clicking the graphic to the left.

Dear Friend,


You should know that I am so happy you are in my life.  You are a steadying influence on me.  When I think I am going to attack a problem, you calm me down, make me see sense, make me think through what I am going to do.

You need to realize I am not as strong as you think.  I have learned how to make the world think I am strong.  As a single mom, there is no choice.  I needed that armor for everyone else to see to get through the life I have lived these last 13 years.

You need to know I love you.  I love you because of who you are, because of what you have been through, because of what you have made of yourself, because of what you have inspired me to become.

You need to know that you are a stronger person than you think you are.  I see the strength in you.  I see the intelligence behind your eyes.  I see the creativity in your soul.  I see the you you want others to see.

You must know you are a good, decent person with a creative, giving soul.

You must know I love you!

Love,

Me



Wearing of the Red

I am reprising pieces of a blog entry from February of 2008 today as I remind people of the problem that heart health care is for women.

The first Friday in February has been designated as Go Red for Women to draw attention to the top killers of women – heart disease and stroke. Women, and the men who love and support them, are asked to don red clothing to draw attention to heart health for women.

While heart health and the causes of heart attacks and strokes in men have been center stage for many years, more women than men die from heart disease each year.  Heart disease is the number one killer of women in America.  The American Heart Association sponsors Go Red for Women day. You can find out all kinds of information about keeping your heart healthy at various ages here.

Go out today and wear red. If you are a man, do it for the women in your life – your mother, your wife, your daughter. If you are woman, do it for yourself and for those strong women in your life that you want to live longer and healthier.

If you are looking for more information, please visit the links below.

The American Heart Association

Campbell’s Address Your Heart

Go Red for Women (This site seems to be having some issues first thing this February morning.  Hopefully, someone will fix it.)


What To Blog About?

This post has been weighing on my mind.  When I started blogging at Yahoo! 360, I didn’t write all that frequently.  When I moved to WordPress, I started writing more often.  There have been days when I have put up three or more posts – short but still.  Then, Yahoo! announced 360 was closing.  There was no import so I started moving posts over manually.  An import was finally made and I imported all my posts.  Some came as duplicates but I think I finally, one day, managed to get all the duplicates down.  So this post, this rambling is my 1000th blog entry.

I wondered.  Should I write about something going on in my personal life?  Should I post the next in the series I started last week about our senses and memory?  Should I write more about my journey to a healthy lifestyle?  Should I write about some of the issues from the State of the Union?  Should I write about other issues that are near and dear to my heart?  Should I do a review?

I did a lot of writing yesterday.  Some writing was for work.  Some writing was personal.  I wrote out an apology and practiced – yes, I said practiced – it so I would not forget anything I wanted to say.  It reminded me of a friend who prepares diligently for job interviews.  I wanted the apology to be perfect.  I forgot most of what I had written when face to face with the person to whom I was apologizing.

So what is my 1000th post going to be about?  It is going to be about writing for my blog.  That is truly ironic.

I write all kinds of things here in my blog.  I noticed, as looked through to pick a post from each month last year for my best of 2009, that I have gotten away from writing about news and politics.  I want to get back to that.  I noticed that I wrote about a lot of great things I did last summer and fall.  I want to continue that.  I noticed that I write a little about my life – though usually through the looking glass of mother.  I want to do more of that.

I also want to continue to write about our senses as mine seem to be developing anew.  Maybe they have always been there – of course, they have always been there – but I am discovery their connection to memories anew.

I am off to get ready for a weekly meeting of Moms.  We call ourselves the Lonely Moms’ Club as, with most of us anyway, we have our children in school and are not employed in a 9-5 type job.  We get together during the school year once a week for breakfast.  Maybe  I will even write about that some day.


People Pleasing

As a follow up to my post on saying no that was hosted over at Making The Moments Count, I want to take some time to discuss another issue that seems to effect women more than men – people pleasing.

A while back, Kristen at Motherese posed a question via a quote from American Wife, by Curtis Sittenfeld.  The question was essentially are you mutable and shape-shifting or fixed and unbending.  Not only did that question and the accompanying quote from American Wife make me think about people pleasing, so did the quote I received several days later in my email.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

- Bill Cosby, comedian

It seems that the females in society, myself included, tend to spend time trying to make everyone happy, bending to please every person.  As Bill Cosby said, that is the key to failure.

If we cannot set our own goals and work towards them – not trampling on others but keeping our own aspirations in mind, how can we consider ourselves successful?  I am not saying that we should all just stop trying to please others.  I think helping others, within reason, is important to all lives.

Often by trying to put everyone else first, by not saying no, we put ourselves in a lower place in our priorities than we should.  Women tend to do this more but it is by no means a female-only trait.

The same email with the Cosby quote contained these last few lines:

Remember that helping yourself and doing what you feel is important should be valued. Find worth in your own opinions and viewpoint, and don’t let your desire to please others compel you to keep yourself in the background. Falling short of perfection only proves that you are a normal human being.

Do you value your own desires? Do you occasionally put others first? Do you realize that you are human and not expected to be perfect?


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