Comments on: Want versus Need

By: Giving and Receiving « Nicki's Thoughts, Art & Friends

Giving and Receiving « Nicki's Thoughts, Art & Friends — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:50:46 +0000

[...] Deacon George spoke about how different people like to give and to receive. He talked of how receiving is so much more difficult. To give to someone else puts the giver in control. The giver is the one that has what is being given. The giver has the timing in his or her hands. The receiver is having to accept. It seems hard for humans to accept almost anything from others. We all want to be strong. We all want to be able to do “it” – whatever it is – on our own, independently. These words were taking me back to last fall and a discussion of needing someone. [...]

By: Mountains and Molehills « The Critical Path

Mountains and Molehills « The Critical Path — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:40:32 +0000

[...] Pain, Relationship trackback I recently had a light discussion about need with my good friend Nicki. The discussion centered around how difficult it is for a friend to admit that they need a friend [...]

By: Nicki

Nicki — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:41:54 +0000

@Steve – People do need people. And you are right. It is a combination of both that lead me to have trouble saying those words. Remember what Colleen told me – baby steps!

@Gary – strength is sometimes an issue. LOL

By: gary

gary — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:17:06 +0000

Whoa, Nicki. I’ll say this, you are a mighty strong person to do all this on your own. Wow.

By: Nicki

Nicki — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:05:28 +0000

Jen – Look for Steve. He will be there but may be a bit fast for you. My guess, not sure but he may check back here, is that he will run the 5K in about 22 minutes on a good day. If I have learned nothing else, it is that runners are never alone. Wish I could go but parenting calls.

Are you unable to make Seneca Falls due to wrestling?

By: JenLo

JenLo — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:57:40 +0000

There are levels of need as well–I suspect you wouldn’t fall apart if the relationship ceased to exist, so in that sense you don’t need the person in order to survive. But on the other hand, if you are looking for a fulfilling, rewarding relationship to add all the things this person offers, then need is an appropriate description and probably much easier to admit.

PS–Thanks for the info on Interlaken. I’m registered and am going by myself on Saturday. I’m a little nervous–it’s my first race alone!

By: jassnight

jassnight — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:44:43 +0000

Well said Nicki. I am a firm believer that people need people in their lives – you know that. I really have no problem telling friends that I need them because I KNOW that connections are the most important thing in life. Does it open someone up to vunlerability (exernal consequenses that can be taken advantage of?) or, does it conflict with ego (internal admittance that you are less independent than you want to admit?) I would say yes to both – you have to weigh the consequenses from both perspectives. I would also say that it is healthy to need people in your life and to admit it to both you and your friends and family.