Monthly Archives: October 2009

Halloween Memories

Being a mom, I have tons of memories of Halloween.  I was looking back through years of photos and the good memories that those photos brought back are amazing.  Unfortunately, some of the cutest Halloweens were ones that I don’t have pictures of but I still have the memories.

 

When my family was younger, Halloween was always a production.  I have vivid memories of the year Ben was born on October 26th.  I was putting the final touches on Halloween costumes during my three day stay in the hospital.  My oldest, who would have been almost 10 that year, was going to be a tiger for Halloween and I was making the costume.

 

Then, there was the Halloween a few years prior to that when the twins were in first grade, 1993.  There was so much snow on the ground that Elise – or Belle from Beauty and the Beast – had to wear winter boots and her winter coat.

 

Halloween was almost always the same the ten years we lived in Binghamton.  We would trick or treat in the general neighborhood, occasionally going to friends’ homes that would require a short car ride.  We would, regardless of the weather, leave the door open once we were home.  The first fire of the season was commonly Halloween night so that the house stayed warm.

 

As the kids got older and we moved out of Binghamton, the kids would sing in the church children’s choir.  This would mean we would dress in costume and head to vigil mass for All Saint’s Day on Halloween evening.  Then, we would go to a friend’s party.  That was great since I truly live out of town and, in the 12 years I have been here, I think I may have seen three kids and two of those live nearby.  I would always leave candy out for kids who may come and find the bowl untouched upon returning home.

 

I have found some Halloween pictures to share.  These are not always costume pictures but often pictures of family or class trips to the pumpkin farm – a tradition I truly miss.


Perspective on Life

I was reading a friend’s blog the other week about how we perceive life.  He took a very analytic and theory-based look at how we perceive our lives.  I have been thinking about this frequently but I have a slightly different outlook.

 

I can definitely say that the way we look at our lives is through a filter of our upbringing, our environment and our experiences.  I also want to say that we have to look at life – ours and others around us – from this own perspective.  If we do not and try to see our lives through someone else’s lens, we really don’t control our own lives.  We need to see things through our own lens to have any control over what goes on in our lives.

 

Seeing things through our own experiences and lens is not easy.  It often means we ask the questions “why” and “what if” frequently.  We do not simply accept what is going on without wondering why.  We do not accept what is going without seeing the other possibilities that could be happening or that could spring from a situation.

 

One reason this is not easy is because it requires you to think for yourself, to be an individual.  This is a scary prospect for many people.  Unfortunately, if we always stick with the known or given, we seldom grow and learn.  Going against the grain is a wonderful way to make something new happen.  Do not fear this but embrace it!

 

Creative people are known for this particular perception of life, for being sure they ask the “whys” and “what ifs” so that they can see the bigger picture or can see a different solution.  Just think of all the problems that could be solved if more people asked “why” and “what if.”


Joie d’vie

Yesterday was a bad day.  I do not have many of them.  I pride myself on ALWAYS seeing the half full cup, regardless of what comes along in work or life in general.  Yesterday, I took a detour on the half full ride.

 

I am firmly back in my unrealistically optimistic life now.  It only takes one day like yesterday to make me realize many things.  I realize how wonderful my life truly is.  I realize how much I love my family and my friends.  I realize how good things are.  No one can take that away from me.

 

I feel cheated out of a day of my life by not letting go of the bad things that went on yesterday and by letting them bring me down.  We cannot get time back so when we allow others to influence us and our emotions and our days, we had best be sure they are influencing in a good way.  I let that slip yesterday and allowed a bad influencer in and paid for it by losing a day of joy and happiness.

 

We all need to find a way to bring the joie d’vie into our lives.  Whether this joy comes from exercising, cooking, just being with friends and family, we all need to be able to pull the joy out of ourselves and make it a part of our every day.


Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not something we often think about when we think about ourselves.  We may think about forgiving a friend or a spouse or a child for something they have said or done to upset us.  We do not, though, often think that we should forgive ourselves.

 

If you are like me, I set goals.  I try not to call them goals.  I think I feel that the word goal means that it is something that has to be achieved.  I hate missing the mark so I write down those things to which I aspire.  I usually do this on an annual basis so that each month I can then break these larger aspirations into smaller steps to achieve them.

 

The problem comes when I do not achieve my smaller steps/goals or my larger aspirations.  I get to feeling I am not accomplishing much.  I feel failure as I do not believe I set unrealistic expectations.  If I let this feeling take me over, I could wallow in it for a long time.

 

Just as I do with others, I need to forgive myself.  I need to let myself know that it is okay to not always reach the pinnacle that is set for me.  Holding onto that feeling of failure or that feeling of a grudge against someone else will just continue to drag me down.  I will spiral into a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure and hatred.

 

Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting.  By forgiving, you free yourself to move on in life.  You allow yourself to not be caught up in the cycle of hurt and pain and failure that will cause your life to be miserable.

 

Go out today and live your life by forgiving someone, by forgiving yourself and living a life free of resentment and failure.


Dreams are Possible

As I am sitting here today, I am thinking about November.  One week from today, I will start NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month.  I love to write but have never been able to sustain the 50,000 words that are the goal for NaNoWriMo in a 30 day time period.  It is possible that I only ended up with 14,000 plus the first time I did this because I stopped.  I was typing along each morning and when work was slow until November 14th.  I would have to go back and look at my calendar to see what happened around that time but I just couldn’t go further.

Today, I received an email that said to start telling your friends about what you are doing next month.  I have been more forthcoming this year about the fact that I am doing NaNoWriMo than I was last year.  Maybe it was a lack of support that made me suddenly stop.  I do not know.  All I know is this year I will get the words I need.

One item that is going to help me get through the month is a quote I just recently read.  ”The things that are hard to bear, are sweet to remember,” from Lucius Annaeus Seneca.  This quote is so true.  As we work through steps to reach our goals, we spend time and effort to get to these goals.  While the time and effort, the trip may be difficult, you do these difficult steps to reach the final goal.  That goal is so much better when you get to it as you remember the sweat and tears, the toil you have put into the goal.

Along with the quote came a reflection.  As you work towards whatever goal you have in front of you – finishing a paper for school, getting in shape, losing weight, writing 50,000 words in 30 days, come back and read this reflection frequently because it truly says it all.

The sweetness of reflecting on a dream

Setting goals is easy. The tough part is putting time and hard work into realizing those dreams. The energy you are willing to put forth to reach your dreams is directly related to the probability of achieving them. Above all, be patient with the situation and with yourself. Don’t lose your way by being blinded by disappointment, frustrations, and failures. Ponder the goals in your life and the obstacles you might face. Make appropriate plans to overcome those roadblocks even before they occur. Think of the reward of reflecting on a goal you have reached, rather than one you failed to see through. Most big dreams involve big effort!

Here’s hoping you can reach your goals!

The sweetness of reflecting on a dream
Setting goals is easy. The tough part is putting time and hard work into realizing those dreams. The energy you are willing to put forth to reach your dreams is directly related to the probability of achieving them. Above all, be patient with the situation and with yourself. Don’t lose your way by being blinded by disappointment, frustrations, and failures. Ponder the goals in your life and the obstacles you might face. Make appropriate plans to overcome those roadblocks even before they occur. Think of the reward of reflecting on a goal you have reached, rather than one you failed to see through. Most big dreams involve big effortThe sweetness of reflecting on a dream
Setting goals is easy. The tough part is putting time and hard work into realizing those dreams. The energy you are willing to put forth to reach your dreams is directly related to the probability of achieving them. Above all, be patient with the situation and with yourself. Don’t lose your way by being blinded by disappointment, frustrations, and failures. Ponder the goals in your life and the obstacles you might face. Make appropriate plans to overcome those roadblocks even before they occur. Think of the reward of reflecting on a goal you have reached, rather than one you failed to see through. Most big dreams involve big effort!

Running Gear

Thanks to Mel at She Runs Brooklyn for letting me know about a contest that is on going.  I have to say, as I have on this blog previously, I am not one of those runners who buys specialized gear.  Mel and I have that in common.

I am, though, concerned about my winter running for several reasons.  I am running a race in December and another in mid-November.  I don’t want to be too warm or too cold while running with others.  I am not talking a huge race.  Both are 5Ks but still.

I need to learn the art of layering better.  I found this out on Monday or Tuesday.  I walked out the back door to run in a short sleeved shirt and my running shorts.  I had to come back in and just happened to grab what I saw to put on as I was cold.  I put a hoodie on.  Big mistake as, number one, it is huge on me and kept creeping up in the neck and choking at me.  And, number two, I got too warm and the hoodie was a pain to keep track of.

To that end, I was looking around at Women’s Thermal Underwear and am truly impressed by the products they have.  I have to admit that I am use to have to purchase men’s thermals in sizes that truly don’t fit to go across the biggest part of my upper body.  In other words, I need thermal underwear that fits across my chest and have never had an easy time finding any suited for my figure prior to looking at this web site.

I want to be upfront.   I am blogging about his because I am hoping to win a gift certificate.  I would be happy to know Mel won the gift certificate.  I love things like this.  I am eyeing a specific piece of layering shirts that I am going to get.  It is just a question of when.


Brought to you by: WomensThermalUnderwear.com


Scary Story

I cross-post my blog entries on my local newspaper’s blog section.  Another blogger, in an attempt to get more entries from the public, challenged us all to a scary story contest for Halloween.  I have been totally lost as to what to write about until last night.  Now, I am ready to go.

Driving Scared

She didn’t think anything of the trip home.  As a mother, she knew that the drive would eventually become second nature, if it hadn’t already.  On top of that, the westbound lanes had less construction than the eastbound lanes.  The trip would be easy and quick.

As soon as she left the college campus, she knew it would be an adventure to get home.  She thought she recalled the way her son had taken her when he had driven home over his long weekend a month ago.  She was going to try that way to get to the interstate, as opposed to the tried and true way that took her back through town.  This was her first mistake.

She didn’t find the on ramp she was looking for off Main Street.  She was almost to the point of trying to figure out if the GPS could be programmed to find the interstate without any actual address for it.  She had not used it much but was intrigued to see if the little machine could help her as the housing was looking more and more dilapidated and she had no idea where she was.  Thankfully, just as she was about to pull over and try the GPS, she saw a sign for the interstate.  She was going in the right direction.  Still, how had she missed the on ramp for exit 14?

Finally on the interstate, she set her cruise control for 70 and settled into a CD that she loved.  She was singing along at the top of her lungs when the first construction zone came upon her.  She had to turn off the cruise and slow to 55 as the traffic was all on one side of the highway.  Once this was finished, the interstate would be a wonderful place to drive but until then, this was scary.

A lot of tractor trailers traverse the east-west route between Binghamton and Albany.  There were tons of them on the road that night.  She was sure that these large 18 wheelers were not going 55 as the small posts between the two lanes were moving in the vacuum created as they drove past.  Each successive tractor trailer seemed to be getting closer to the middle of the lanes.  Her car was getting harder and harder to control as the wind from the large trucks sucked her in along with the posts between the lanes.

Finally, that stretch of seven miles was done.  She was back to two lanes heading west and home.

So far, so good.  The trip was going as well as planned, with the exception of that beginning of not being quite where she expected.  The next segment of construction was only on the eastbound lanes.  She was excited as this meant new pavement westbound and the driving speed picked up in all the vehicles traveling west.  She did the same.  No need to crawl home if the going speed was more than she was doing.

A third construction zone put her back in the eastbound lanes.  The tractor trailer travel seemed to have lessened considerably.  This short bit of highway, less than five miles in her memory of the trip east, went by with much less drama than the first bit of two lane driving.  Soon, she was back in highway travel and the car in front of her was going rather slow.

She had, once leaving the last construction zone, put her cruise back on at 70.  She was not truly going all that fast but she was about to pass the car in front of her.  As was her practice, she put her signal on with plenty of room between her and the slower vehicle and pulled into the left lane.  The road had a slight curve in it but she swore she saw a car in that passing lane and it was driving towards her.  She looked again to be sure it was not just headlights from the eastbound lanes of the interstate.

Quickly, she signaled and pulled back in behind the slow car, braked and slowed down.  She wanted to be able to react, when this car going the wrong direction, got to where the traffic was.  She did not want to see this incident have the same ending that the one downstate had had earlier this year where a mother, allegedly under the influence of drugs and alcohol, entered an interstate going in the wrong direction and killed several people, including children.  She was going to be able to get out of this idiot’s way without incident if need be.

Brake lights started coming on in front of her as the other drivers realized a car was approaching them, in the westbound lanes but going east.  Cars started driving on the shoulder slightly.  This oncoming car was not slowing.  This oncoming car was not wavering or weaving.  This oncoming car’s driver seemed to think that he or she was in the right lane.  This oncoming car was going the speed limit of 65.

The car passed the small group of vehicles she was in.  She could not remember the last exit.  She knew it had come just at the end of the last construction zone but had no idea how far away it was.  She pulled to the side of the road near the next mile marker and picked up her mobile phone.  She did not have a hands-free set as she seldom used her phone while driving.  She also pulled over so she could give emergency services a mile marker, some idea of where this idiot was headed.

Emergency services was very calming.  The panicked feeling in the pit of her stomach did not lessen, though.  She told the operator everything she could and was just about to exit her vehicle to read the mile marker to him as she saw flashing lights in her rearview mirror.  She asked if she needed to get out of the car.  The operator asked her to hold on for a moment.  He indicated that police had caught up with the car and was attempting to stop the vehicle.  He asked for her name and confirmed her phone number.  They both hung up.

She was sitting in the car trying to get her bearings when a car pulled onto the shoulder in front of her.  An elderly man exited the passenger side of the car and headed toward her vehicle.  She didn’t want him to get hit.  Even with headlights on, the sky was cloudy and the night very dark.  She looked carefully behind her to be sure she was not taking any chances getting out of her car on the driver’s side.  With the flashing lights in the distance, traffic was sparse.  She met the elderly man and his traveling partner half way between the two cars.  They were afraid she was injured and stopped to help.  She assured them she had just wanted to be near a mile marker to call the police.

As she quickly walked back to her vehicle, a car pulled off the road behind hers.  She was beginning to regret having called 911.  This vehicle, along with the one who stopped in the lane, just wanted to make sure everyone was all right.

All the stopped vehicles pulled back onto the interstate.  Traffic was flowing again as if there had been no problems.  Strangely, she was still fighting her stomach which suddenly did not like the pesto and fettuccine she had had for dinner.  She merged into the driving lane and continued home.


Flexibility and Change

I receive a “Healthy Reflections” email every day from Sparkpeople.com.  Today’s just hit home with me as a friend has been talking about change a lot lately.  Below is the quote that came with the reflection and the reflection itself.  Keep reading!  You will find my thoughts.

How Well do You Roll with the Punches?

Change is the natural order of the world. When something tries to stand against the force of change, it’s eventually destroyed. Cliffs are eroded, trees are uprooted, granite cracks. People can crack too. For us to grow and live–to flourish–it takes adaptation and learning. Stubborn attachment to a single set of “knowledge” or way of doing things leads to stagnation of the mind and spirit. Remember to keep an open mind to new people and new ideas. Challenge yourself to always be learning something new. Focus on the possibilities of a fresh start, instead of hanging on to old frustrations. Sails are made with cloth for a reason. When they’re stiff, winds beat against them until they tear. But if the sails are relaxed and workable, the wind can take you to places you’ve never been before.

Whatever is flexible and flowing will tend to grow; whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die.

- Tao Te Ching, Lao Tsu’s teachings


For whatever reason, as adults, people tend to not like change.  We settle into our jobs, our lives and never question anything as we want the status quo to continue.  What we seldom realize, until we embrace the fact that change happens with or without us, is that the status quo may not be good for us.  The status quo may be holding us back from what we are really suppose to be doing in life.  The status quo may be keeping us in relationships that are not good for us or for the others in them.

By embracing change, we can learn to be like the sails in the reflection above.  We can realize that we do not need to beaten down or torn apart by life and its changes but can roll and flow with what comes to us.

While a lot of people who know me think I am rather rigid – I live by my calendar, I really love to do spontaneous things.  I just, much against the definition, try to plan my spontaneous things.  I like to know that a new learning goal will involve a class or two and when that class will take place.  I like to know that I have time in my schedule to spend with new friends and with old friends and, when possible, with both old and new friends together.

If you cringe at the word change, learn to not.  Learn to embrace what comes your way.  Learn to love your life regardless of whether it goes where you think it will or is blown a different direction by the prevailing winds.


Middle School Science Olympiad

I spent two days this weekend with other adults who are interesting in encouraging students to be comfortable with science and to want to work in science.  I admit I have always been a geek.  I love math and science.  I love learning more about science.

Imagine my joy when child number 5 decided, in sixth grade, that he wanted to join the middle school Science Olympiad team.  Ben was a quick study and managed to learn almost the entire tree list.  He also found he was very good at rocks and minerals and at fossils.  He did not manage to get involved in very many “tech” events.  He did a couple but they were generally evening practices that conflicted with other activities he had.

My youngest soon made it to middle school and was not ready to move from Odyssey of the Mind to Science Olympiad.  I told him I didn’t think he could compete in both.  They both run at the same time and take up a lot of time in practices.  He joined the middle school Science Olympiad team in seventh grade.

I joined the coaching staff with my older son.  I say staff but with the exception of a teacher or two, we are all volunteers.  We want these students to have the experience so are willing to spend evenings planning practices and then gearing the students up for competition.  I generally will spend 2 hours of prep time for every one hour of practice I hold.  This is not the norm but I have to, in most cases, learn the material before I explain it to the students.

Three years ago, the regional coordinator stepped down.  I watched the state web site, looking for the new coordinator to appear.  It was the end of October before I finally sent the email.  I would pick up the coordinator duties.  I would organize and run a competition for middle school teams in this area.  I have been doing so ever since and love it!  I run a competition that includes approximately 20 events.  The students receive individual medals for first, second and third place in each event.  The teams in first, second and third place receive a trophy.  The teams that place first and second – and occasionally there is a bonus team also – go on to the state competition.  There is a spirit award that is voted on by the event supervisors.

The tournament has a lot of parts to it.  I manage to get volunteers to run events.  I have to write some of the events.  I manage to schedule all the events.

I stress horribly as the date for regionals get near.  I am a mess the day of the event.  It generally goes without a hitch and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.  What these students get out of the event is more than I could possibly have to put into it.


This and That

I swore, at the beginning of October, I was going to be here blogging every day in October.  That blogging, and my current gig that involves writing, would be my warm-up exercises for NaNoWriMo in November.  Well, all I can say is I hope those 50,000 words in November come more consistently than my blog has so far this month.

Today is Thursday.  I am leaving to go to a conference tomorrow.  I am so out of time for the week and this is the only blog entry since The Greater Ithaca Art Trail on Sunday evening, Monday morning.  The good news is I found the missing camera which I had been sure went on a vacation without me last weekend.  Then, I couldn’t find it in the car.  Well, it was there all along, just not where I was looking.

I forgot to let one client know I was going to be out of town this weekend.  I am not able to do work for this client today or tomorrow and I have a no work on weekends rule.  He is out of luck until Monday.  Worse thing is his office phone rings into my house Monday through Friday so my kids who are home will have to deal with that.

I am going to write a long post at some point in time about Science Olympiad, my reason for being out of town this weekend.  I am heading to a coaches’ workshop.  Yes, I do occasionally volunteer to coach but, at least at this point in time, I am also the Southern Tier Regional Division B Coordinator in NYS.  I run a competition for middle school teams in February.

Well, I have gotten this all out of my mind.  I now am going to get dressed to go to my client’s in Ithaca.  I had to do some shopping yesterday as I have very few long sleeve shirts that fit me so it was off to Penney’s to see what I could find.  They were having a wonderful sale and for just under $55 I managed to snag four long sleeve shirts, dressy enough to wear to work, and a new skirt.  Can’t wait to get dressed today!


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,840 other followers